Deciding to Stop Enabling

Have you decided to stop enabling someone you love who has serious health or chronic personal problem (for example, an addiction)? Enabling, despite its harm, is nothing to feel ashamed about because it is a natural response to protecting someone you love from the serious consequences of his or her behavior. The key is making the change— switching to the healthier and purpose-driven detachment that facilitates your recovery from enabling and may influence change in your loved one. Get support for your decision. It’s a big one that will test your resolve. Counseling and support groups can make it dramatically easier. So, talk to your EAP to discover a self-help group that matches your needs. No other mentoring or teaching format has been shown to produce more rapid and certain changes.